5 Famous Literary Quotes Explained: “‘Tis Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”
This expression comes from an elegy titled, In Memoriam A. H. H. by Alfred, Lord Tennyson (1809-1892). It was published at the height of the Victorian era in 1850, the same year Tennyson became England’s Poet Laureate. Born out of a period of profound, life-altering grief for Tennyson, it was a masterpiece which he spent seventeen years contemplating and constructing.
In an elegy titled In Memoriam A.H.H., Lord, Alfred Tennyson wrote the line, “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
“A.H.H” stands for Arthur Henry Hallum, Tennyson’s closest friend who died suddenly in 1833 at the age of 22. Yet, Hallum wasn’t just a friend to Tennyson. He was the source of artistic inspiration and literary confidence upon which the budding poet relied. Because of this, and because of their bond, Hallum’s death shattered Tennyson’s world.
The poem consists of 133 sections and details a three-year emotional journey of processing grief. In its context, this line is situated in the first year of the speaker’s grieving process.
I hold it true, whate'er befall;
I feel it, when I sorrow most;
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
(In Memoriam A. H. H., 27.13-17)
While Tennyson experienced loss from which he believed he would never recover, this elegy indicates that on the other side of a seventeen-year grieving journey, he found hope in the notion that love itself is a miracle. And it’s worth every moment of pain-filled loss.